The girls of SPECTRE fully, absolutely NAKED...

...You dirty minded bunch of reprobates, tricked you, didn't I?. Well, I've been tricked before myself and by the professionals.When SPECTRE was in production, Sam Mendes hinted the film would rely less on CGI effects and more on 'doing it for real'. Well, it's all a matter of perspective...

From the opening shot, four minutes plus of continuous shot we are immersed, right there with Bond as he spots his prey, sashays up a staircase to his hotel room and leaves the hottest girl in the film to eavesdrop on the baddies and then shoot their bomb, causing two whole buildings to collapse.

Bond and Estrella leave a lift in Mexico City and enter a hotel room in Pinewood, England.

Personally, I only catch on that the computer-wizards have been at work when something looks off; the infamous surfing scene in Die Another Day is one example. Usually it's obvious in action films now – the hero jumps from a burning, crashing car and rotates mid-air blasting away with two pistols... fake, fake, awful fake. This sort of thing has ruined many a film for me and it's ludicrous; an insult to our intelligence. When you see Sylvester Stallone (Age Sixty Nine) or Arnie (Sixty Eight) doing stunts a thirty year old gymnast would shrink from, you know there's trickery afoot.

Stunt Doubles with Rubber Faces... sounds like a Surrealist Film Noir...

SPECTRE does it too; if you go, frame by frame through the Blu-Ray you'll see one or two split-second edits where Bond has an oddly frozen look on his face. At normal speed it's invisible, but stuntmen with lifelike rubber masks and computerised replacement were used. Likewise, Blofeld; those capture dots on his face (below) a hint at how that scar was to be produced.

Christoph Waltz plays - (Do you really want a Spoiler warning?) - Blofeld. Capture dots (Above) become a CGI/prosthetic scar (Below)

I don't mind this, any of it – subtle use of CGI is to be applauded. In fact, much of SPECTRE's CGI was so subtle, you may have missed it. Here's some favourites;

Above; Bond hurtles perilously down onto Hinx's convoy in Austria. Below - this original shot shows the propellers and wing-tips were added post-production by MPC. The Norman-Islander fuselage was suspended by cable from a row of cranes.

 

Fly-by-Wire... by combining computer effects with live-action stunts, a groundbreaking chase scene comes together.

 

 

The train sequence in Morocco. A multi-carriage train takes Bond and Madeleine to their destination.

Budget cuts famously led to a rather more modest train being used. MPC film's CGI covers the cracks in funding - although CGI is often as expensive as physical effects and sometimes more.

 

Above; Chris Corbould (centre) with the 'Backfire' mechanism for the Aston Martin DB10.

It's not all CGI; far from it. Special Effects Supervisor Chris Corbould brings a wealth of experience to SPECTRE. Starting with The Spy Who Loved Me, he's worked on the Bond series. His first work was as an assistant on The Who's rock opera Tommy, but he's risen through the ranks to become the SFX Supervisor on the recent Star Wars films. When people think of physical effects, they imagine rain tanks and smoke machines, but Corbould's team re-engineered the Aston Martin and Jaguar cars for Die Another Day to give them four-wheel drive for better traction on snow and for SPECTRE he provided the largest screen explosion in screen history, crashed a full-size executive helicopter onto a 1:1 scale replica of Westminster bridge and engineered the gadgets that made Bond's DB10 so much more than a rich man's toy.

Above: Blofeld's desert HQ goes up in true Bond style. Chris Corbould's team produced the Guinness World Record explosion in safety.

Above; A fortunately-placed sofa breaks Bond's fall as the building collapses around him. Mexico City?, no; Pinewood!

Above; Corbould's team built this set, designed to collapse and then be reset!. Re-settable, safe sets are key to high-end productions that require multiple takes.

 Above and Below; Q-Branch toys provided by Chris Corbould's team

Back to the CGI now; as James Bond approaches the Hoffler Clinic, the audience sees a stylish glass construction. The original plate (below) shows a cable-car and some different internal lighting. Such subtle, clever usage means the CGI in SPECTRE becomes invisible. MPC film's work is among the very best.

Computer Effects company Cinesite provided some computer displays to add authenticity to MI6 wizard Q's work. Examples (below) include the welcome screen for the Hoffler Clinic, erm Klinik, tracking data for 007, Toxicology reports on a ring recovered from SPECTRE operative Sciarra and the 'smart-blood' application used to keep tabs on Bond.

Finally, my favourite. When we saw SPECTRE in the Cinema, my Wife and myself both giggled at the scene in Morocco when a tipsy Bond demands to know who a mouse is working for. Such is the talent at work here that neither of us had the slightest idea 'Mickey' was, in fact no more than a collection of pixels...

FORGOTTEN COMEDY FLICKS - REAL MEN

Agent Pillbox walks through the forest, a map in one hand, a glass of water in the other. The Glass bears the Presidential seal. He's shot!. It must be an inside job, so the Director sends in Agent Pirandello (James Belushi)...

Nick Pirandello's the best agent in the CIA; James Bond with street-smarts. Tricking his way to the map, he takes on hordes of Russian agents, taking them out with incredible pistol shooting, trickery and a naked girl. Half the CIA are working for the other side, so his boss, Millard Cunard (Bill Morey) gives him an assignment; put a lookalike for Pillbox in for the exchange. The man the computer selected needs his confidence building if he's to make the drop by Friday!.

Bob Wilson (John Ritter) is a feeble, meek man. When his kid's bike is stolen by the losers down the block, they offer to sell it back to him before roughing him up. He's a wimp. Even the milkman keeps winking at him. Later that night he's awoken by Pirandello in his garage. Russians are coming, so the CIA man makes a machine pistol out of everyday items, takes out the bad-guys and then pretends it was all Wilson's doing, despite Bob being worse than useless. They've got a week to get to DC, via the scenic route.

Vegas, Tuesday; hilariously, Bob's family have been told he's in a mental hospital after a 'terrorist attack.' He keeps trying to run away from Pirandello, who's always a step ahead; when he learns the Government is negotiating with UFO's he's even more convinced the guy's a madman. Pirandello shows him a cheap plastic pen as proof; banging it through a baseball to show it still writes. That doesn't do it, but when the pen levitates, lights up and flies back to the Alien galaxy he's convinced.

Another team of Russians turn up and attack; the good guys take cover in an empty house. The Russians send in their top negotiator, Dolly, a stunning woman. If Nick turns he'll be a Colonel in the KGB (With hindsight perhaps not the best deal) with $1Million. All he has to do is hand over the map and kill Bob. They retire to the bedroom to confer. Ever conferred in a bedroom?. Dolly gives Nick a tip (seems fair, considering); his shares are worthless, a source in the White House told her. Anyway; no deal!. Shooting his way out, Nick makes for a phonebox and calls... his broker. The bullets stop. Why?. It's lunchtime – the Russians aren't as motivated as our side!. Goofy.

During the ceasefire Nick and Bob escape. Bob demands to know what the exchange is. Apparently the Chemical warfare guys messed up, and the planet is slowly dying. The UFO people will give us a 'Good Package' including a formula to reverse this. All they want in return is a glass of water!. Nick takes Bob to his Mother's place; apparently Dad is home from the hospital and Nick's Aunt has stopped by. Left alone, Bob encounters a stunning older lady who tries to seduce him. It turns out this is Nick's dad after a sex-change!. (Nick's 'Father' is played by exploitation legend Dyanne Thorne of 'Ilsa' notoriety.) Borrowing the family Impala, the journey continues.

New Mexico, Wednesday; after a funny gag about Supermarket Tabloids full of classified information (Years before Men in Black used the same joke). Bob does a runner again, but realises he has the vital map and runs back; the Chevy's gone!. Nick hid it and gets a dressing down – Bob is clearly gaining in confidence.

Indianapolis, Thursday; Picking up the special glass with it's Presidential seal isn't as easy as you'd think. Clown attack!. CIA agents gone bad in clown suits, no less. Have I used the word 'goofy?' already?. Cornered, in tears, Bob falls for a line about being a Russian superspy hypnotised to forget. He goes charging in... to a right and goes down, leaving Nick to drop the clowns. As Bob wakes up, Nick feeds him some bravo-sierra about having knocked them all out single handed, reveals the Russian superspy bit was a trick to build his confidence. It's worked; as one of the clowns comes to, Bob drops him with a roundhouse.

Pittsburg, Thursday night. Stopping at a bar so Nick can get laid, Bob decides to test his new-found confidence by picking on a pair of gorillas. Amusingly his steely eyes and demeanour works and they leave. Nick, meanwhile has found a meek, bespectacled girl and picks her up. Following her to her place, he leaves Bob in the Chevy, promising to be back as soon as he can. There's a burglary going on across the street, which Bob investigates while Nick's date turns out to be a whip-wielding dominatrix. Tying him into a bondage frame she whips and spins him around while, outside Bob takes out the trash.

Friday morning and Bob has to put up with the new Nick, suddenly all caring and considerate. He blows his stack when Nick wants off the mission, talking him round. Stopping for supplies, Bob finds Nick Pirandello gone; he's left a note saying he loves her.

Washington, DC; Friday. Bob Wilson is a man on a mission. Following the map into a park, he almost shoots a genuine clown by mistake. Fumbling to load the pistol he found in Nick's Mum's car he gets a shock as Nick shows up. The bad guys show, too, blasting away at the good guys. Agent Mahoney appears to back up our boys, but is shot. Another dazzling display of pistol work by Pirandello sorts them. Bob has the glass, but where's the water?. In a water dispenser of course, hidden inside a hollowed-out tree.

Heading towards the rendezvous, a shot rings out. Millard Cunard has gone bad!. Ordering them to toss their guns he orders Bob to walk out there and ask the Aliens for the 'Big Gun' – a device that will destroy the World. Bob refuses, despite the threat to shoot Nick. With no way out, Bob makes a gun with his fingers just as the wounded Mahoney crawls up and shoots Cunard.

The rendezvous!. A light shines down from above and an Alien appears (Played by Don Dolan). Do we want the Big Gun or the Good Package?. Bob goes for the latter and exchanges the glass for it. The Aliens got the baseball Nick sent and are learning the game. The spaceman gives Bob a pen, plus Nick's back, then leaves in his ship.

A banner; 'Welcome Home Dad'. A Presidential Limo, complete with Secret Service men pulls up at the Wilson home. Bob is home; the house has been repaired and looks great. Alone with his wife (Isabella Hofmann) he asks about the milkman; he's been coming round daily, pestering her. Going over to the losers, Bob gets his kid's bike back and works the punks over. Nick arrives and tells Bob's kids their Dad's quite a guy. He's off to develop a meaningful relationship with his girl, who shows up overhead flying a chopper dangling a rope ladder. As Nick is hoisted aloft he waves goodbye. Whistling, the Milkman makes his delivery, walking right into one of Bob's. As he k.o.'s him he tells him to try to be more sensitive... THE END.

Real Men came out in 1987; it's screwy, goofball and largely forgotten now. James Belushi's character is at times overplayed, sometimes irritating. Ritter plays it straight until his confidence overtakes the part; it's all a little laboured and heavy-handed. HOWEVER: I loved this film when it came out on VHS in 1890 at Ye Olde Video Shoppe; it made me laugh then and now. It's not Neighbors, or even K-9, but it's well worth the search.

SPECTRE IN GIF FORM; PART ONE

FOR MORE SPECTRE GIFS, GO TO OUR NEW 'SPECTRE' PAGE; CLICK THE BUTTON TO THE RIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE

 

WARNING!: THESE GIFS HAVE BEEN OPTIMIZED, BUT ARE STILL LARGE FILES; THEY MAY TAKE SOME TIME TO LOAD

Yes, SPECTRE is out this week on DVD, Blu-Ray and Thaumatrope (Well, Sussex is a tad behind the times...). I thought I'd share the Pre-Title Sequence with you on our new SPECTRE page. The page is, like the others, a work in progress, so it's worth checking from time to time. Seeing the film on Blu-Ray is quite a treat and I'm sure Craig fans will love it. I've seen a lot of negative criticism, which surprised me, because the film really is a decent Bond; all the things that were missing have been put back and it all worked quite well - even the anti-climax of the ending and that song couldn't dent the film for me. Hope you like the new page and the new posts I'm working on.

TRIGGER MORTIS - Reviewed

Ian Fleming was an amateur. Let me clarify that; when he entered the World of Naval Intelligence in the War he wasn't a professional intelligence officer. As with so many of his generation, he had to jump in and swim. Read any of the biographies and it becomes clear he was an ideas man, but not a practical one. Schemes such as 'Operation Ruthless' show both how desperate Britain was at that stage of the war and how far-fetched Fleming's thinking could be. So, an amateur intelligence man; but I'm English and many of you are not which falls on me to explain what an amateur actually is in merry old England. To us, an amateur is a sporting chap (or chappess) who takes the crease at Cricket, the field at Rugby and generally does their best to try to beat the other chap.

Like all amateurs, Fleming admired a pro and he was certainly influenced by them when he wrote James Bond into our lives. Bond is an amateur himself – at least in the sporting sense and Fleming had this in mind when he sketched the outlines of a television series, abandoned at the outset of the films. One of these shows was to be titled 'Murder on Wheels' and you'd probably never have heard of it had the writer Anthony Horowitz not been approached by Ian Fleming Publications to produce a new book; Trigger Mortis.

Anthony Horowitz photograph by Mark Rusher

Anthony Horowitz OBE is a TV Screenwriter and author of The House of Silk and Moriarty, as well as the Alex Rider childrens books. He created Midsomer Murders and Foyle's War, which is the only of his works I'm barely aware of; – it featured Michael Kitchen, Bill Tanner in the Brosnan Bonds.

Trigger Mortis has been out awhile, but I've only just finished it (It was a Christmas present from my Wife) and I have to say I'm impressed. The book features original material written by Ian Fleming and this isn't as easy to spot as you might think; Horowitz writes as Fleming very convincingly. The setting is the late Fleming's original idea featured Stirling (Now Sir Stirling) Moss at risk of a typical piece of SMERSH nastiness at the Nürburgring. Horowitz replaces him with a fictional driver and Bond takes to the track as a playboy amateur driver...

The book – perhaps unwisely, brings back a certain Ms. Galore, only to dismiss her after she's provided us with a spot of uncharacteristic damsel in distress. The main love interest comes in the form of Jeopardy Lane, American like Pussy, but on the right side of law enforcement. This is more like it; Lane is both attractive and capable. She digs Bond out of the soup in more than one instance and is genuinely memorable. At last a female more Felix Leiter than Mary Goodnight (And if you don't know, don't bother finding out!). Providing the menace along with SMERSH is a shadowy Korean, known as Jason Sin. Sin is – without giving too much away, a psychotic monster without soul or human warmth. The action takes us from Europe to America, where the military is about to launch a Vanguard missile. Aware something terrible is on the cards (But not how terrible those cards can be), Bond tries to warn the authorities, but gets the brush off. To prevent a tragedy of international proportions, 007 and Jeopardy have to penetrate the mysterious Sin's empire and Bond's life rests on the turn of a card...

Bond is presented as Fleming wrote him, but for today. Gone are the racism and sexism that so shock modern readers when they pick up an original. The book has been extensively researched, with few errors or gaffes to mar the illusion. I've read criticism of the decision to place this book firmly in the 1950's, but it fits nicely with the originals and is far more interesting placed with Fleming's works. I've read a few of the continuation novels and, for me as a life-long Fleming buff, Trigger Mortis is as good as they come; Ian Fleming would surely be proud.

Trigger Mortis is available everywhere; Orion Books, ISBN 978-1-4091-5913-1 and priced at £18.99 in the UK.

Visit the author's site at; 

http://www.anthonyhorowitz.com/

http://www.ianfleming.com/