Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Bond Babes in the Seventies...

...as opposed to Bond Babes in their Seventies, which should bring the odd sigh of relief amidst all the screeching from the Age-ism Police out there... Yes we continue our politically-correct perusal through the Babes of Bond with The Decade Taste Forgot... a time of parties involving bowls and car keys, fondue parties and a decade not yet prepared to embrace pubic grooming...

LIVE AND LET DIE - Roger Moore, yes that is actually his name (Roger is a British synonym for 'Make Love' - Roger More, geddit?) Is the now be-knighted son of a London Policeman, who came to fame in television series such as The Saint and The Persuaders with Tony Curtis. His first outing as 007 starts with him making love to the luvverly Miss Caruso, a wayward Italian Spy played by Madeleine Smith. See above for the two clues to Roger Moore personally choosing Ms.Smith for the role...
Gloria Hendry plays Rosie Carver, the doomed double agent who, albeit haplessly wins Bond's affections before she is (inevitably) zapped by Evil Mr.Big. I won't waste too much time pointing out the obvious, but she broke new ground as a Bond Babe - as well as posing for Playboy... which brings us to the film's leading lady, Mistress of the Tarot Solitaire, Jane Seymour in her first role.
Poor old Solitaire - if she loses her virginity, she loses her powers; well, Bond being the gentleman he isn't he tricks her with a rigged deck and she's about as psychic as a boiled egg. Still, once she gets going she's off like a Greyhound with a chilli up its bum...


THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN - It's off to the exotic East for this romp. Roger is in fine safari-suited mode here, as he seeks out the ruthless Scaramanga. Here we go; Miss.Mary Goodnight, Bond's 'assistant' is portrayed by Britt Ekland, formerly Mrs.Peter Sellers.
Here she is looking faintly startled in a bikini, but I could have chosen from endless shots of her full acting range; looking faintly puzzled, faintly annoyed, faintly... get the idea?. O.k. the star of the film is Roger Moore and his famous eyebrows, but let's get real - the guy can actually act, he's far better than he ever let on. Anyway, luckily the film didn't rely on Ekland for sex appeal...
Maud Adams is the second Swede here, but easily the hottest. Scaramanga's squeeze, Andrea Anders. She plots to do away with Scaramanga by sending a golden bullet to MI6 with '007' inscribed on it. Bond thinks he is the legendary hitman's next target so falls into Ander's hands, literally.
We'll see more of her with Octopussy in the Eighties...

I would be failing in my duty as Babeologist (It's a living.) (I wish.) if I didn't give at least a passing mention to Saida, the Beirut dancing girl played ably by Carmen du Sautoy and the delectable Chew Mee (Francoise Therry) and I just have.

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME - One of the undisputed triumphs of the James Bond films here, and rightfully it's jammed full of what British Toff refer to as 'Totty', British Chavs refer to as 'Sorts' and British Men prefer to refer to. What?, oh well;
The film starts with the best getaway in history; rather than hang around with Sue Vanner (Above) who plays the enticingly named 'Log Cabin Girl' (Lazy screenwriting or what?) 007 skis off a cliff... after killing the lover of Triple X (XXX as in porn for anyone who's hard of thinking) who comes in the shapely form of Mrs.Ringo Starr, Barbara Bach.
The action takes us swiftly through the usual breathtaking locations, with Egyptian pyramids a backdrop to the mayhem.

Harem fantasy anyone?, the publicity machine at EON as ever leaving no curves un-photographed. No wonder Mrs.Moore kept such a beady eye on hubby during certain scenes. British Scream Queen and Carry On starlet Valerie Leon plays a hotel receptionist. And its my blog, remember...

British readers and those familiar to Carry On films in general will not be surprised to learn that, at this point, I'm doing a passable impression of Sid James. Phwooarrr...

Naomi (Caroline Munro) is, frankly the finest sight in a Bond flick since Sylvia Trench. She's a baddie, working for Stromberg, who tries to kill 007 - getting a rocket in the maritals for her trouble.Star of countless B-movies in England, Munro remains a favourite among the fans.
Ba-loody HELL... (Nurse, it's happened again...)

CALM DOWN YOU DIRTY OLD GIT... erm, MOONRAKER, yes MOONRAKER, thats it... cor BLIMEY that Caroline Munro, eh?.
Filmed in France to avoid excessive British taxes (Labour government) its only right the first girl here is  Corinne Dufour, as played by Corrine Clery. She's Drax's personal pilot, an echo of Pussy Galore, but fated for an early death at the hands, er, fangs of Drax's Dobermanns. Holly Goodhead, he-he/chortle, is a scientific type and not-at-all-obviously a CIA spy. Lois Chiles in a role that set her apart from the pack of Bond girls that were just there to provide eye-candy or a willing victim...

...while still retaining her essential femininininity, eh sisters?. (Thats enough of that. Feminism?, in a James Bond film? Not on my watch matey...)

Hugo Drax wasn't stupid - he wasn't going to let these girls choke on his orchid gas of doom...And its yet another publicity shot showing Roger surrounded by babes.I almost forgot Manuela (Emily Bolton), who is Bond's contact in Rio. Tut-Tut...
Love is definitely in the air, and that includes Jaws. Blanche Ravalec plays Dolly, the diminutive and unlikely love-interest for Jaws. After helping him from the rubble of a crashed cable-car, he only has eyes for her....

Well, so much for the Seventies, hooray for the Eighties!, the next installment (i.e. when I can spare the time) will cover the years that saw the Era of Moore give way to Dalton... and no, the sexism and mysogony doesn't end with Disco...











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