A Graveyard. James Bond
lays roses on his Wife's grave. Poor Tracy! - murdered all those
years ago by Blofeld. A Universal Exports helicopter has been sent
for Bond – something urgent no doubt. Cut to that
cat being stroked, by a mysterious bald gentleman in a jazzed-up
electric wheelchair-
his
injuries the result of his many brushes with the deadly 007. As the
chopper flies over the Thames past Big Ben the mysterious baldie
activates the remote control console on his chair and electrocutes
the pilot. Flying the chopper by remote control, Blofel- I mean the
anonymous gentleman* threatens Bond, who manages to escape from the
passenger cabin and clamber around to the cockpit, spotting the
villainous wheelchair user on a nearby rooftop. In the very nick,
Bond spots the cables for the remote and wrenches them free, chasing
the fleeing B*o*e*d and scooping him up with the helicopter skids.
Despite the tempting offer of a Delicatessen, Bond isn't swayed,
dropping the hapless B*o*e*d down one a massive industrial chimney.
Sheena
Easton sings the title song (The first time a singer has appeared in
a Bond title sequence) and the now-familiar Bond silhouette defends
girls from menace as fish swim and are-they aren't-they naked women
fill the screen. Maurice Binder collects his cheque and we move on...
A
Trawler – the St.Georges from Valletta is at sea, the Maltese flag
flying from her stern. Whilst the crew toil, a sailor in Navy blues
finishes his cigarette and goes below – a sliding door revealing a
sophisticated electronics room, staffed by Royal Navy personnel. Its
a spy trawler!. At the very heart of the apparatus is something
called A.T.A.C. - obviously very hush-hush even if it looks
suspiciously like a cash register. Suddenly, an alarm – a seamine
in the nets!. BOOM! The ship goes down, the doomed crew frantically
trying – and failing, to destroy the A.T.A.C.
ABOVE: Roger (Now Sir.Roger) Moore returns as 007
The
Ministry of Defence, that last great bulwark of Britain's Imperial
defence. Speaking of great bulwarks, the First Sea Lord is here to
see the Minister. Meanwhile in Moscow, General Gogol is appraising
his superiors. The Russians were watching the spy ship, it went down
off the Albanian coast and there might be a chance of getting the
A.T.A.C. Transmitter. If it should come up for sale their usual
contact in Greece has been alerted...
Greece.
A seaplane comes in to land by a yacht in a fabulous bay, bringing a
beautiful girl back to her parents. Sir.Timothy Havelock is a
renowned Marine Archaeologist, he and his wife welcome Melina aboard,
but the welcome turns to tragedy. Taking off, the plane turns and
goes into a diving attack, strafing the yacht and killing the
Havelocks. Escaping by good luck, Melina's eyes show a terrible
hatred beginning to form.
London.
Miss Moneypenny welcomes Bond, explaining M is on leave (In deference
to the recently departed Bernard Lee, the role of 'M' was not
reprised for some years), the Minister and Chief of Staff are
waiting. The Automatic Targeting Attack Communicator is used to
transmit targeting information to Polaris subs at sea. If it fell
into enemy hands it could be used to attack British cities.
Sir.Timothy
was tasked with covertly locating the wreck of the spy ship, but the
Havelocks were murdered by a Cuban hitman, Hector Gonzales, before
Sir. Timothy's report could be delivered. 007 is handed a Secret
dossier – Operation Undertow is underway.
Spain.(Well,
Corfu) A rather lovely white Lotus Esprit** drives past a
high-security compound as a Mercedes drives in through the main
gates. Parking the car, Bond goes in for a look – the place is
crawling with armed security and pretty girls in swimwear frolicking
around the pool. What exactly is frolicking
anyway?. A severe looking man in suit and glasses brings a briefcase
full of money to Gonzales. Bond observes from a distance, but a twig
snapping alerts him to another interloper. Before he can find out
who's lurking in the trees, the goons jump him. Recognising Bond's
PPK as Secret Service issue, Gonzales is dismissive, ordering his men
to get rid of Bond. The hitman dives into his pool – just in time
to meet a crossbow bolt coming the other way.
As the girls start
screaming, 007 uses the commotion to escape as the bullets start to
fly. Suddenly, Bond comes up short – faced with a mysterious veiled
figure aiming a crossbow straight at him. The bolt whirs past into
the nearest goon and, pulling her headgear aside Melina reveals
herself. With no time for introductions, Bond leads the way back to
the Lotus. Just as a thug tries to break in by smashing the glass.
Didn't the 'Burglar Protected' sticker warn him? (This is Bond legend
Bob Simmons – the stuntman who appears in most of the early Bonds)
Ka-BOOM! - the Self-Destruct turns the Lotus – and a hilariously
bad 'Bob' dummy, into spare parts. Luckily, Melina has a car...
From a
Lotus Esprit to a 2CV... with Gonzales' men chasing in faster cars
(ie anything other than more 2CVs and, possibly my old Vauxhall Viva)
Melina takes the little Citroen through a picturesque Spanish
village, but rolls it to avoid a bus that blocks the pursuing goons
just long enough for the helpful locals to right the car and for Bond
to take over the driving. The chase continues into the hills where
the locals are harvesting their crop. Looks like plums to me.
Seriously outclassed, the battered Citroen only stays ahead of the
powerful Peugeots due to 007's driving, but he is forced off the road
and the little car rolls sideways down a hill, crunching to a halt
before – improbably reversing back past a lorry to do a skidding
'J-turn' then force the Peugeots to collide with a tricky bit of
braking. One car crashes down the hill on its roof only to be knocked
into a spin by the other as the chase rolls on, the 2CV going
straight downhill, the remaining pursuers using the road. Some witty
humour from Roger Moore and the Citroen jumps-bumps over the chasing
car, a lorry then smashing it off the hill into the branches of a
tree, much to the surprise of the locals whose nets are now filled
with hubcaps as well as fruit.
At a
local hotel Bond phones in a reservation for their flight. Melina,
though has unfinished business. She intends to continue her Father's
work, but not before extracting revenge on whoever paid Gonzales.
Bond cautions her against vengeance, quoting the old Chinese saying
about needing to dig two graves before setting out on revenge.
His advice falls on deaf ears; she is half-Greek and Greek women
always avenge their loved ones.
London.
The Minister is worried at the Prime Minister's likely reaction to
the failure of Operation Undertow. Bond isn't so sure – he saw the
man who paid Gonzales. Perhaps the Identigraph could help?. Down to
Q-Branch!. Dear old Q is hard at work, developing swing-out plaster
casts that can smash a man's head in, umbrellas that spring deadly
spikes in the rain, as well as a replacement Lotus. The Identigraph
itself is housed in its own room, a 3-D computer system that patches
into the
files
of the French Sureté,
Interpol, the CIA, Mossad and even the West German Police. Q runs
the system, with Bond describing the features of Mr.Payoff. After a
bit of hit-and-miss they have a composite – the system prints out a
photo and a name; Emile Leopold Locque. An Enforcer in the Brussels
underworld, this nasty bit of work is working for Greek drug
smugglers, last known whereabouts Cortina.
A
copper-coloured Turbo Esprit takes a curving road into the town of
Cortina, where Bond checks in to a swankily-naff hotel, his suite a
riot of eyewateringly-ugly patterned fabric. (The sort of pattern you
get in Old Folks homes and hospital waiting rooms). He runs a bath,
but what's this? - a message on the mirror, the steam revealing
'TOFANA 10AM'. Tofana is a mountain, and next day, Bond takes the
cable car to rendezvous with Luigi Ferrara, his contact. They
exchange the codewords and Luigi – who dresses as if hoping to be
recognised as a spy, has arranged a meeting with their man in Greece.
A distinguished war hero, this man is a big name in shipping and has
a villa in Cortina. Luigi takes Bond to the Olympic Ice Rink where a
girl skates, watched by a distinguished older gentleman. Aris
Kristatos shakes Bond's hand warmly and they join his table, unaware
Locque is watching. The girl skates across, Kristatos' protégée
Bibi Dahl accompanied
by her Skating tutor and (distinctly Soviet bloc) chaperone Jacoba
Brink. Despite Kristatos' assurance of her naiveté,
Bibi turns out to be a proper dirter (In colloquial parlance). Back
to business; Kristatos claims Locque works for a smuggler, Milos
Columbo. He explains Columbo is known in the underworld as 'The
Dove'. They fought together in the Greek Resistance before Columbo
turned to crime.
After
the meeting, Bond is walking with Luigi when he spots Melina,
ominously heading into a sporting goods store. She buys a crossbow.
Oh-oh. Bond has no time to digest this, as Melina is attacked by two
henchmen on motorcross bikes, their tyres spiked for ice riding. Bond
sends one through the window of a florists, the other rides off and
theres a decent gag about lilies.
Melina came because of a telegram
purportedly from James. Taking a horse-sled to the station, Bond
offloads her with a promise to join her in Corfu when he has more
information. Back at the Hotella Di Naff, Bond has a visitor –
Bibi, who tries to offer her honour. Thankfully, James declines to
honour her offer, and they go to the Biathlon, where James has agreed
to be her chaperone. He should be safe there... at least from Bibi.
Shadowed by the omnipresent Locque, the two watch the event, the East
German Champion Eric Kriegler shooting them the evils
then a perfect score on the targets. James parts company with Bibi,
with a vague promise to see her skate that night as he has an
appointment, skiing off into the woods where Kriegler breaks off from
his sport and tries to shoot the British spy. (Kriegler is a typical
Bond henchman – Blonde, muscular and asexual.)
Bond crashes into cover
behind a tree, drawing his Walther. Kriegler shoots it from his hand
and adds insult by shooting Bond's ski-pole into pieces when he tries
to retrieve his pistol. Making a break, 007 skies straight into two
waiting goons but manages to get past with some tricky skiing only to
find Locque waiting by the Olympic ski jump. Bond ducks into the
crowd waiting for the ski-jump lift as the motorcycle goons and then
Kriegler join their boss. With no way out, Bond bluffs it into the
lift***, but his distinctive Olin skis give the game away. The
arrival of Locque and one of his heavies ( A young Charles Dance, no
less) and there's nowhere to go, but up. 007 spots one detail; Locque
wears a pin badge, a white dove... hmm.
The competitors jump,
slicing down the massive slope and arcing high above the packed snow
to land to polite applause from the crowd. Cornered, Bond spots
Kriegler and the motorbike goons waiting below, Locque menaces him
from behind, the butt of his pistol emerging from his pocket. As
Kriegler takes aim with his rifle, 007 goes for it, taking his place
as if he was a competitor and launching himself down the jump to the
confusion of the officials. Suddenly, a thug (Dance) skis out from a
side platform to attack Bond, the two hurtling down into the jump
together, the thug obscuring Kriegler's aim. 007 lands – just and
jumps a mound of snow handily placed to knock Kriegler's rifle aside
and escape. Bond isn't free yet, though, as Krieger takes one of the
two motorbikes in close pursuit. The other rider has a trick; his
indicators revolve around their stems to become machine guns (No, I
didn't buy this either) and the snow starts to fly around Bond. A
comic touch – Bond sends a whole ski-lesson falling, domino-style –
and the chase roars on. 007 is a magnificent skier, but these riders
are no slouches either.
A group of diners are
enjoying lunch at a ski lodge, seated around the long table when, out
of nowhere Bond jumps down onto the table and out onto the slopes
beyond – closely followed by two maniacs on motorcycles who crash
through the place. (Blink and you'd miss a familiar face – 'the
drinker' from the beach scene in The Spy who Loved Me and Venice in
Moonraker - Victor Tourjansky made his last Bond appearance in FYEO)
On into a wooded area, the trees here closer together, Bond adeptly
jams his remaining ski-pole between two trees and one rider is taken
out of the game. A bob-sleigh team is setting off down the Eugenio
Monti course. (One of these stuntmen was Paolo Rigon, who was
tragically killed during filming when his bob-sleigh overturned.)
Bond drops down into the course – a nearly suicidal move on hard
ice, rocketing down the track and into the corners. Kriegler follows,
the ice spikes affording him some grip. To his amazement, the last
man in the bob turns to see a skier gaining fast, the whole team
turning in surprise. Helpfully, Bond points a warning; there's a pair
of tight left-right bends coming up and the odd procession careens
around and through the turns, before Bond shoots off the track –
over the snowy roof of a hut and crashes in a tangled heap. Kriegler
goes through the
hut, smashing into a log bench and wiping out.
He
goes to shoot Bond, but he's bent his barrel and
his bike, throwing them both after 007 in an impotent rage and
display of strength.
James
pulls up outside the Ice Rink, leaving Luigi in the Lotus. Bibi is
finishing her skating, Bond questions her about Kriegler – she says
he's an East German defector, but a panicky Jacoba
Brink calls her away as an Ice Hockey team comes out to practice.
Bond walks off the ice when the lights go out and the 'team' attacks
him, barging and swinging their sticks. Adroitly, Bond dodges their
attacks, grabbing a stick and then an ice-resurfacing machine to dump
them in the net (Complete with score-board and horn sounding each
time.) Outside, Bond finds Luigi has been garrotted, his hand still
clutching Locques' dove pin.
Corfu – that jewel in the Eastern
Mediterranean (The water and sky are the most vivid blues I have ever
seen). James surprises Melina and they go to the local market to do
the tourist thing. Dusk finds them in the gardens of the majestic
Achilleion
palace, the view over Corfu town breathtaking. Perhaps her Father
left some notes in his study aboard the Triana?
- Melina hasn't had the heart to go into his study since the murders.
James feels he may make progress with a meeting at the Casino that
night.
That
night. The Casino (actually still the Achilleion, as that was
the
Corfu Casino back then), where a Baccarat game is in play. A
beautiful Contessa appears and Bond cleans out Lord somebody or other
before joining Kristatos for dinner. Bond shows off his gastronomic
knowledge and they get to business. Accusing Columbo of heroin
smuggling, Kristatos points him out at a nearby table, sitting with
the Countess Lisl. (The Countess is played by the late Cassandra
Harris, wife of a certain Pierce Brosnan. Whilst filming the couple
dined with Cubby Broccoli and this is almost certainly when Brosnan
was first noticed as a future 007) Columbo has a stake in the Casino
and Kristatos suggests Bond kills him. The camera zooms in – unless
007 has zoom-vision – to show Columbo wears... Dove cufflinks!.
Smoothly, the waiters change the table, one taking the lamp, which is
unscrewed to reveal a micro-cassette recorder. Now in his office at
the Casino, Columbo (The legendary Topol) munches on pistachios and
listens to Bond's conversation with Kristatos before returning to his
table and triggering a pre-arranged scene with the Countess, who acts
as if he insulted her and throws a glass over him before leaving.
Taking advantage of the potential lead, Bond borrows Kristatos' car
to take the Countess home to her seaside villa. In a fantastic bit of
tongue-in-cheek, Bond tells the driver he won't need him tonight and
follows her inside.
When she's tiddly, the Countess drops her accent, revealing she's a
Liverpool lass. She admits Columbo primed her to find out more about
Bond and they make love. The next morning the two take a romantic
walk on the beach, a dive-boat at anchor nearby - but several beach
buggies appear, driven by Locque and henchmen (Including Dance). Bond
shoots a tyre out and one flips, but Lisl panics and runs back down
the beach. The poor girl doesn't stand a chance and is mown down by
Locque. Bond has no time to grieve, as Charles Dance pulls up and
points a luger at him. Locque menaces Bond with his own PPK, but
Dance gets a spear from a speargun in the back, from the divers
coming ashore – Bond kicks the Walther from Locque's grip and the
baddie roars off. Bond pays his respects to the 'Contessa' – a
classy move that earns him a whack to the nut. (And for laughs, try
counting the number of times James Bond has been knocked out –
after proving invincible in a fight – by a simple whack to the
head. You wonder why he doesn't dribble.)
Bond comes to in the cabin of a sail yacht and is brought to the
stateroom, where Columbo plays him the tape of his meeting with
Kristatos. Columbo tells Bond he should go after Kristatos and that
Locque works for the latter. Gold, diamonds, cigarettes – even
pistachios – he admits smuggling these, but never heroin. He goes
further; Kristatos works for the Russians and was a double agent
during the war. Now he's murdered Columbo's woman, Lisl. Bond is
sceptical, but Columbo invites Bond to see for himself – tonight
they will go to Kristatos' warehouse in Albania. Offering Bond a
drink, his host seems insulted when he declines. Showing faith,
Columbo gives the PPK back to its owner and Bond accepts that drink.
Darkness falls and the yacht sails quietly into the harbour, a
Hilltop fort dominating the scene. Columbo, as ever incessantly
munching on his pistachios. At the dockside, bales of paper are being
loaded, supervised by Locque. Striking the sails, Columbo's men swarm
ashore and battle is joined. In the fight, Columbo saves Bond from a
bullet and Locque dashes inside. His men have Armalites, but they are
soon cornered inside amongst the giant bales. Cautiously moving
forward, the allies uncover boxes of pineapple grenades and a J.I.M.
Deep-sea diving suit for salvage work at depth. Hmmm...
Wily as ever, Columbo throws a handful of his pistachios out across
the floor as Bond discovers one of the 'bales' is seeping raw opium.
Worse, there are several seamines in the warehouse, (The same kind
that blew the St.Georges to the sea floor) Locque is busy wiring one
of these with plastic explosive, but his men step on the pistachios
alerting Columbo and co. Severing the ties holding a bundle of bales,
they send them bouncing and rolling over the goons, flattening them.
007 spots the rigged mine and they get out just as Locque sends the
place sky-high and drives off. The only way out for cars is a tunnel
leading up to the fort and Bond spots a winding stairway, charging up
it trying to catch the car. He gets a few shots off, but the car
speeds off. By now breathing like a racehorse with one lung, Bond
somehow gets out just as the car breaks out atop the hill. In the
now-famous Bond pose, 007 fires hitting Locque and sending the car
spinning through a wall to a halt hanging off the cliff. Bond throws
Locque the dove pin he found in Luigi's hand and, in one of the
most-debated moments in the series, gives the car a hefty kick to
send it spinning and crashing down the cliff, Locques' mangled corpse
thrown clear onto the rocks. (And, for the record, I agree with
Sir.Roger Moore – it was a Bond-like thing to do, but not in
keeping with his portrayal of 007. It helps the film along though,
plus this scene adds much needed grit to the series.)
An underwater scene, divers use lifting bags to recover artifacts
from an ancient temple. Melina works on the site, using one of those
underwater hoovers to suck the sand from the floor tiles.**** Joining
her, James swims up and they go up to the Triana (But not before she
removes her scuba tank, leaving it on the seabed – for no apparent
reason. Is she psychic?.) In Sir.Timothy's study, Bond explains
Melina's father was using the temple dive as a front – the
St.Georges must have gone down in the area. Max, Sir.Timothy's pet
parrot provides some light relief, repeating whatever is said to him.
Looking over Sir.Timothy's logs, Melina explains he wrote them in
shorthand. He made several surveys in Neptune – his
mini-sub, spotting a diving bell in the area and a wreck. It was then
he was murdered. James and Melina take Neptune for a closer look at
that wreck. The sub glides along just above the bottom and,
gradually, the stern of the St.Georges emerges through the gloom.
Working on mixed gases – Oxygen and Helium, James estimates they
have no more than eight minutes dive time. They suit up in the
airlock and prepare to exit Neptune, unaware that Neptune has
triggered a proximity alarm topside, where Kristatos' salvage craft
lies.
James and Melina enter the wreck through the hole made by the mine, a
shark gives us all a start and then the grim task of exploring the
communications suite – the bodies of the crew still trapped. James
has a waterproofed diagram explaining the layout of the A.T.A.C. Room
and the de-activation procedure for the thermite self-destruct charge
and they go for'ard. Bond finds the self destruct primed, but unfired
and sets about dismantling the device. (Ominously, a fresh
perspective and the sounds of breathing warn us audience types of
imminent trouble) Cautiously, he cuts the wires and retrieves the
A.T.A.C just as the hulking form of the J.I.M. Deep-sea suit explodes
into the cramped compartment. Effectively a series of jointed steel
spheres, the J.I.M. Is not so much a dive-suit as a suit of heavy
armour, complete with massive pincers instead of hands. James gets a
bash to the helmet (ouch) and Melina is rammed up against a bulkhead,
her hose rupturing. Grabbing the thermite charge, James yanks the pin
and slaps it (its magnetic) onto the back of the J.I.M. Suit, the
sudden loud ticking giving the stooge in the suit something to think
about, but also a chance for the pair to slip past. Wrenching the
precious A.T.A.C. From the suits steel grip, 007 is sent backwards,
the thug knocking a heavy metal cabinet down to trap him. As the
seconds count down on the timer, Bond just manages to wrench
his way clear as the suit goes up in a gout of flame, the shockwave
and gases erupting around our two heroes and almost killing them.
(Look out for some fantastic miniature work here.)
ABOVE: The model of the St.Georges filmed at Pinewood.
Back in the safety of Neptune... did I say safety? - a
submersible named Mantis appears from the murk and rams into
the little sub. The Mantis is well named, it's mechanical claws
ripping out vital electrical connections and then, holding the little
sub firmly in one claw, trying to push a drill-bit through the glass
cupola. Luckily, Neptune is bigger, and has more thrust, Bond
guns it, ramming the Mantis backwards into the wreckage of the
St.Georges where it gets firmly stuck. James takes the sub up
to be hauled aboard the Triana. Surprise, surprise Kristatos is
waiting for him, along with Kriegler and assorted goons. In Sir.
Timothy's office, with only Max the parrot as witness, Kriegler,
looking blonder than ever, wants to deliver the A.T.A.C. To his KGB
superiors and then bring Kristatos his money. Kristatos isn't stupid,
insisting on an exchange at a place called St.Cyrils.
On deck, James and Melina have their arms around each other. Surely
there's a time and a place? - but no, they've been tied together.
Evil old Kristatos plans to drag them behind his motor yacht. Over a
reef. Ouch. ***** The yacht tows a paravane (A sort of underwater
kite) – behind it a coil of rope, as it pays out Bond and the girl
are wrenched from the Triana's stern and dragged through the water
above the reef. Somehow, Bond succeeds in turning them so that he,
not Melina, takes the first sickening blow, blood blossoming out into
the water behind them. Mercifully, they manage a gulp of precious air
as the boat turns for another run, Bond diving down to the rocks in a
desperate attempt to sever their bonds. As he saws away, the first
shark circles...
Once again they are drawn across the razor-forest, once more Bond
takes the wound. A gentleman even in death. Another turn and Bond's
last chance, his arms free he's able to dive faster and he manages to
reach a rocky outcrop swimming around it and bracing hard as above,
the boat starts towards the reef, coming to an abrupt halt. The
helmsman opens the throttles and the rope is at full stretch, parting
suddenly to send the paravane whipping from the water and knocking a
goon into the sea, the sharks flashing up beneath him. As he meets
his awful fate, his boss spots James and Melina on the surface, Bond
unpicking her Bonds. So to speak. Kristatos orders them to be run
down, Melina has an idea and they dive down to the temple where she
left that convenient tank of air. As our two heroes sit safely on the
bottom buddy breathing, Kristatos is sure the sharks have them and
the baddies leave, leaving James and the girl free to regain the
Triana. Despondently, James sums it up – Kristatos is
probably in Havana and the A.T.A.C. lost. Proving himself a loyal
British parrot and no commie stooge, Max the parrot helpfully sparks
up with “ATAC to St.Cyrils-ATAC to St.Cyrils”. Technically
now an MI6 Agent, Max's information saves the day...
The town of St.Cyrils, a Wedding is in full swing, dancers in local
costume and revellers celebrating. Bond enters the church and a
confessional. 'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.' Before we can
digest this oddness, the 'Priest' answers – 'That's putting it
mildly, 007.' Of course it's Q, complete with false beard and Priest
get-up. 007's signal sent Whitehall into meltdown – there are
hundreds of St.Cyrils, with no clue which one Kristatos has gone to.
Bond has an idea who to ask...
ABOVE: In the early eighties it was still acceptable to show 007 surrounded by beautiful women. We show you these pictures just to show you how unacceptable it is now... honest.
A file of Monks walk a mountain path, Brother Columbo is followed by
'Brother' Melina, James etc. St.Cyrils is an abandoned monastery
perched atop a massive sandstone pillar, a spectacular setting;
Columbo and Kristatos hid from the Germans there during the war. The
approach is daunting, even for an experienced climber. A sheer face
with an overhang is the only way up, armed guards patrolling the
monastery. If Bond makes it, there's a winch and a basket to bring
the others up. Inside, the A.T.A.C. sits on the altar – the prize
guarded jealously by Kriegler and Apostis, one of Kristatos' most
trusted men. At the base of the cliff, 007 begins his climb.
Bibi is doing her exercises, when Kristatos enters. The skater is
restless, she belongs on the ice and isn't impressed when Kristatos
tells her they are going to Cuba. Bibi rebuffs him and he blames
Jacoba Brink for this rebelliousness, leaving Brink trying to mollify
Bibi. An angry Kristatos sends his man out to check the guard and
look for the helicopter that Kriegler has called in. The climb is
dangerous, demanding all of Bond's concentration. Startled,
ironically enough by some doves he nearly falls, clinging on as,
above, a guard peers over the edge. Bond sets up a belay, using a
piece of cloth to muffle the noise, he knocks in a piton with his
climbing hammer. The climb continues.
Bond finally reaches the top and gets a kick in the teeth from
Apostis that sends him sliding back off the rock and into a sickening
fall. (An incredible stunt by Rick Sylvester – famous for his base
jump at the start of The Spy who Loved Me) 007 falls what has
to be eighty feet, his rope bringing him up short with rib-cracking
force. Far below, Columbo's team are showered with debris and fear
the worst. Stunned, Bond dangles in space, the cliff beyond reach due
to the overhang, only his pitons keeping him alive. Quickly
fashioning a 'prusik' or ascending device from his bootlace, Bond
starts the laborious business of climbing back up the rope, but
Apostis has roped down to reach the topmost of Bond's pitons and
knocks it free with his pistol butt. Falling again, Bond doesn't give
up, climbing hard at full pelt. Again, a piton is knocked free and,
as Columbo's men and Melina watch helplessly out of range, Bond takes
yet another fall. With only one piton straining to take his weight,
James Bond is surely doomed. The henchman moves around and reaches
down to start hammering that last piton, Bond's climb seemingly for
nothing. Getting a glimpse of his would-be murderer is enough, Bond
takes a blade-edged piton and throws it to stick into Apostis' chest.
The man falls forward with a long echoing scream, the body crashing
to the rocks by Columbo's party. At first they fear the worst, but
Columbo identifies the corpse and the very much alive James waves
them forward, grabbing the late Apostis' rope just as his last
piton is about to fail.
007 sneaks past a dopey guard into the winch room, sending the basket
down for the others. As he returns, even Mr.Dozey can't fail to
notice the winch is running and, finding the doors to the room bolted
instead of raising the alarm he gets a crossbow bolt to the chest.
Bond drags him in and orders him to be tied up. Unaware of the
impending assault, Kristatos is impatient, but Kriegler reassures
him. Indeed, a Soviet passenger helicopter is inbound, carrying
General Gogol. Melina gives the man she shot first aid and Columbo
administers anaethesia. Sneaking forwards, a pair of suitcases
emerges from a door – followed by Jacoba Brink; she's doing a
runner with Bibi, agreeing to help Bond if he helps them get away
from creepy old Kristatos. The guard's quarters next, the night shift
sleeping in their bunks are quickly woken and rounded up. Bibi
strides into Kristatos' apartment and demands to know where Brink is,
getting a slap for her defiance. Speaking of slaps, Columbo and Bond
are getting into it with two of the guards who aren't lying down
easily. The fight is vicious, one thug pushing Bond – and himself
through an ancient stained-glass window (Presumably made of ancient
sugar glass) to crash into the apartment below. Kriegler is about to
shoot 007, but a spirited Bibi knocks his gun away, getting a brutal
backhander for her trouble.
Bond's punches and kicks have no effect – Kriegler is in peak
condition and an Iron Curtain iron-man to boot. He batters Bond and
tries to skewer him with an iron candelabra before picking up a heavy
stone flower planter to finish him. Only the sight of Kristatos
sneaking out with the A.T.A.C. causes his attention to waver and Bond
rams him through the window behind with the candelabra. Kriegler
falls to his death, landing last week. Now it's between Columbo and
his old enemy as Kristatos tries to get the A.T.A.C. to the landing
helicopter. Columbo fights valiantly, but is knocked down the slope
and Bond grabs the precious device as Melina arrives. With her
crossbow. James pleads with her, insisting that Kristatos be turned
over to the Police. She is immovable, her heart set on revenge. Bond
reminds her of the Chinese proverb, but Kristatos has a flick-knife!.
He gets a knife between the shoulder blades – thrown by Columbo
with the last ounce of his strength.
General Gogol arrives, with a guard, his Uzi covering Bond. The
General has a smile of triumph as he reaches out to claim his prize.
Turning in resignation, Bond swings, launching the A.T.A.C. spinning
out into space to smash into fragments on the rocks far below. James
makes a joke; it's detente as neither side has it. Gogol sees
the funny side and leaves. Columbo puts his nuts into Bibi's hand –
pistachios (What were you lot thinking?. Honestly...) and it
seems Bibi has her new sponsor.
The Triana sits at anchor. Bond kisses Melina, while in London
the Minister and Chief of Staff impatiently wait for Q to patch
through the satellite comms and link-up to Downing Street. (On a
mish-mash of old M.O.D. Radio kit) Aboard the yacht, Melina wants a
moonlight swim, but Bond's (Now appealingly retro) Seiko pages him –
come in 007... Hanging the watch on Max's perch, the two lovers take
their swim. Over the radio-link, Q mistakes Max's mimicry for Bond
and patches the call through...
Ten Downing Street. In the kitchen, the phone rings and a lady pulls
off her marigolds to answer. It's Maggie! - yes Margaret Thatcher,
the Prime Minister... (played to a 'T' by the wonderful
impressionist Janet Brown, John Wells playing a grinning Denis –
her husband.) She thanks 'Bond' for his services and the feathery
imposter replies 'Gissus a kiss' sending the communications room into
a panic and the Minister yanking the plug. Max drops the annoying
watch over the side as two silhouettes swim through the temple.
The End
James Bond will return
in
OCTOPUSSY
*The
ongoing legal disputes of the time prevented the use of the name.
**
The 'Essex' Esprit Turbo was the first Turbo Esprit, made initially
to commemorate the Formula-1 deal with sponsors Essex
Petroleum. Two of these beauties were delivered to EON Productions,
the second in the copper livery to avoid disappearing against the
snowy Cortina background.
***I am 95% certain the
youngish man to the left of James in the lift is Willy Bogner, the
skiing legend responsible for filming some of the greatest ski stunts
ever seen on film. Bogner's distinctive skiwear makes an appearance
of its own – the 'B' on Bonds blue ski jacket stands for 'Bogner',
not Bond.
**** Due to a sinus
condition, Carole Bouquet was unable to do underwater scenes – look
carefully and you'll notice the bubbles from her regulator are
superimposed – her hair was wafted around using fans and the film
slowed down to produce a convincing effect.
*****This grisly method of
murder was lifted from Ian Fleming's novel Live & Let Die –
it wasn't featured in the film, so fits in nicely here.
GOOFS:
Look
out for the stunt cage as the 2CV is righted.
Bond
and Melina dive on mixed gas – but their voices sound normal, not
high-pitched.
In a
few scenes, look out for the crew reflected clearly in car windows.
SOME
FACTS:
The
2CV was driven by Remy Julienne, the French stunt Legend.
General
Gogol is played by series veteran Walter Gotell, who first appeared
in From Russia with Love as
S.P.E.C.T.R.E. operative Morzeny)
St.Cyrils
was supposed to be abandoned, in reality the location, the Metéora,
a
complex of ancient orthodox monasteries was occupied by Monks who
protested production by hanging their washing out on shooting days.
IS THIS WORTH TWO HOURS
AND SEVEN MINUTES OF MY LIFE?:
Yes, but that's not an
unqualified yes... this film isn't one of the better outings
for 007. It has a grounded feel – it has credibility, but reviews
at the time were mixed and at times you do start to look at your
watch. It's hardly The Spy who Loved Me. One
of those Bonds from my late childhood,
by
the early eighties the series was running a losing race to Science
Fiction movies. British filmmaking in general was starting to appear
quaint against the latest Spielberg offerings. This in itself is
ironic; all the 'best' Hollywood films seemed to be made in England;
everything from Star Wars to
Raiders had core
components filmed here. The one area we didn't dominate was in
producing and directing. Roger Moore – now of course Sir.
Roger was showing his age –
you start to suspect he's still there because the Broccoli family
loved him and he was cheap. In particular, the climbing sequence and
the chase up the stairs would hardly have been credible for
Roger Moore in 1970. Moore's performance, however is good; he's not
my favourite 007 for nothing. The popular myth of an eyebrow raising
ham is one I hope will be dismissed by an overall appraisal of his
work. Sadly, most of his films didn't offer much scope for acting –
but in FYEO you see glimpses of his range and it gives as much depth
as the script would allow. Much as I actually adore Moonraker,
had the producers followed that line Bond had nowhere to go, but off
to the Moon itself. Sensibly, they opted to turn away from all that
and bring Bond back to Earth. Never really anyone's favourite, For
Your Eyes Only remains a
watchable film, the laughs are there, if toned down, the locations
are easy on the eye and the whole thing holds it's own against other
mid-range offerings such as Tomorrow Never Dies and
Thunderball.
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