Hitting
the doormat at the Volcano recently, Cat Flap is
the latest novel from Yorkshire-based author Ian Jarvis. Available
from MX publishing, Amazon, Foyles and probably a seedy gent in the
local pub, the book is attractively priced at £11.99, or 13.99 if
you live in 'Euros.' Me neither; never heard of the place. There's
a Kindle version for you trendy young things at £5.99 and I would
suspect, an Audio Book is probably in the works as MX do a nice line
in Audio Books. Weighing in
at 344 pages (the book actually weighs
907 grams...), with an evocative cover featuring the Shambles, an
ancient and distinctive part of the City of York. It's in and around
this medieval city that the action takes place. Bernard Quist is a
Consulting Detective, very much in
the Sherlock Holmes tradition, but with his own unique personality;
Jarvis isn't into cloning here-the character is solitary,
exceptionally gifted and smart... but there the similarity ends.
Apart from the Calabash pipe he keeps in his desk...
Quist's
employee and protégé
is one John Watson, a street-smart
black kid who seems to have taken the job for a laugh and provides
much of the subsequent laughter along the way. This is a lucky thing
as the going gets very dark, very gory and extremely sinister.
Purists be warned; don't moan, the author hasn't 'made Watson
black'-this isn't Idris Elba and James Bond, this is an entirely new
character who happens to have that name and happens to be the
protagonist's companion. This isn't splitting hairs as the character
really is a fresh, lively addition to the proceedings.
The
story revolves around a conspiracy to murder women, a mysterious and
secretive pharmaceutical company and a nebulous and shadowy
organization known as 'The Elite'. Along with Watson and a hilarious
playboy
named Rex Grant, Quist must solve the murders, unveil the secrets of
the pharma company and penetrate to the heart of the Elite. As if
this wasn't enough for any novel, there's an ancient and evil aspect
to the organization that lifts the whole story from the realms of
detective fiction into the
supernatural.
Now,
the book does contain the efficacious word and a few others, some
of the humour is dark and not always politically correct (Which is
why we love it here!) so be
warned, it's not Enid Blyton, but the humour turns what would
otherwise be a quality
horror-slash murder-mystery
into a genuinely fun and enjoyable tale. The jokes are fairly
relentless at times, very apt, dry and funny. Readers from foreign
climes might be taken aback at some of the humour here, but it's
typical British 'I may be about to die horribly, but I'm
damned if I'm going out without a quick gag'
stuff and it keeps you smiling throughout. Holmes fans will also
appreciate the 'Easter Eggs'
sprinkled through the narrative; for examples, the Grimpen
Housing Estate and a character named Atwill
are just two of the many. This isn't a Sherlock Holmes story per
se, but a bold and clever move
away from the traditional, with unique characters and settings that
bring the idea of Sleuth and Sidekick right into 2017. Refreshingly,
the Police aren't all wooden-headed dunces gaping in admiration as
the Hero shows them up for fools; they simply don't know how to deal
with the nature of the crimes they face and are shown as flesh and
blood humans. Sometimes a little less
flesh and more blood
than they'd like...
Should
you buy Cat Flap?;
well, for £11.99 you could buy an
impressive pile of elastic bands, to say naught of the paper-clip
possibilities. Where's the fun in that?; buy the book, have some
laughs, see if you can solve the mystery with Bernie Quist!. Our
rating is 4.9
out of 5 here, but we might be jealous, so see what you think...
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH AUTHOR IAN JARVIS
How did you get from fighting fires to becoming an author?
I spent three decades with West Yorkshire Fire and Rescue, attending
countless blazes and traffic accidents, many involving fatalities,
along with chemical incidents and water rescues. I retired in 2014 and
I wasn’t sorry; I miss the camaraderie and constant humour, but
certainly not the incidents. You’d probably need to question the
mental health of anyone who actually missed fires and car smashes.
One job that’s difficult to forget involved walking out of a house fire
seconds before the whole building exploded. Fire engines are fitted
with cameras and you can see the footage on YouTube if you type in
‘Castleford gas explosion’. I’ve been writing stories and magazine
articles since 97, although it’s only recently that I’ve become serious
about this and swapped the fire hose for a laptop. This was mostly
due to my retirement, and the fact that a laptop is useless for
extinguishing blazes.
Who are your favourite authors?
I started reading at a very young age, but weirdly I’ve never had an
all-time favourite. After watching Thunderball when I was about
eight, I got my mother to buy me the novel followed by the others
in the James Bond series. I loved Ian Fleming, although the books
were very different to the films and I remember wondering what
some of the words meant; words like bastard and buttocks. Many kids
at my school detested reading the set works in English Lit’ – they saw
it as a chore – but I couldn’t see the problem and read them twice over
before the exams. At thirteen I was into the Dennis Wheatley occult
novels, and later I discovered all the horror writers including Stephen
King. I visited his house in Maine last year to take pictures, including
the obligatory one of his spider-web gates. I’m available for stalking
duties most weekends.
Where did the character of Bernie Quist come from? Is he based on
real-life people for instance?
Quist is a contemporary Sherlock Holmes and I was originally going
to base him on Basil Rathbone. Before I read Conan Doyle’s books, I
grew up with the old films starring Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. Jeremy
Brett was the best and most accurate portrayal of Holmes, but my
heart will always belong to this earlier pair, although why the genius
detective would have Bruce’s character assisting him is a bigger
mystery than any of his cases. Bumbling and dafter than a brush,
Bruce’s Watson would make a wonderful friend, but he wouldn’t be
your first choice as an ally when facing Moriarty. In making Quist
modern, he lost the Rathbone similarities and, don’t ask me why, but
I often had Hugh Grant in mind when visualising his looks and
eloquent voice. I have to admit, there’s quite a bit of me in there too.
Are you writing the next Quist mystery and, if so, can you drop any
hints as to the direction it’s taking him?
The next mystery, the Music of Sound, is finished and will be out soon.
There are some hints in the rear cover blurb…
A contemporary Sherlock Holmes, Bernie Quist operates as a
consultant detective from Baker Avenue in the city of York. His
personality and deductive methods resemble the celebrated sleuth
and his assistant is named Watson, although this Watson is a youth
from the Grimpen housing estate and he's definitely no doctor. The
mismatched duo take on bizarre cases which invariably lead into the
realms of the supernatural, a shadowy world Quist is all too familiar
with.
Their friend Rex Grant has disappeared from an Edinburgh hotel. He
vanished without paying the bill, but the police seem more concerned
with the murdered girl in his room. Quist and Watson are intrigued by
Rex’s connection to the superstar singer Ligeia and the lethal
mercenary soldiers who act as her management team. Irana Adler
heads the squad – a female Colonel who doesn’t take kindly to being
investigated – and Quist is amazed to discover that Laurel and Hardy
are part of her team, which is not only surprising, but pretty much
impossible.
Something very peculiar is going on and Ligeia’s musical voice isn’t
quite as sweet as it sounds...
I’m currently walking the York walls to dream up the third novel,
involving the infamous massacre in Clifford’s Tower, the National
Railway Museum, several nasty murders and a really nice fish and
chip restaurant in Whitby.
Do you have any tips and warnings for aspiring writers?
Every home has a computer now, which makes it easy for anyone to
try their hand at a book. Many rackets exploit these writers and big
money can be made. They advertise as publishers, and accept every
manuscript they’re sent. They don’t read them, they just put them out
on Kindle and offer ‘print-on-demand’ paperbacks and then take a
big cut from every sale. The paperbacks are priced ridiculously high,
but it doesn’t matter because the author and their family always buy
some and, meanwhile, hundreds more manuscripts are pouring in.
Preditors & Editors is a good website. It lists these ‘author mills’ and
also the reputable publishers and agents.
It’s always best to sign with an agent as most publishers won’t deal
with new authors. Unfortunately it’s as hard to find an agent as it is
to find a publisher. Most will reply with a standard rejection email,
but you should keep trying. Publishers use agents as filters. They’re
business people who will only entertain money-spinners, so the
publisher knows whatever the agent brings them has been vetted and
it’s viable. Remember, publishers aren’t there to propagate art – they
want something that will sell. Your book doesn’t need to be good; it
just needs to sell. If a ‘celebrity’ such as Victoria Beckham writes a
novel, irrespective of how poor it is, it’ll be snapped up.
Cat Flap has a lot of humour. Where do you get your sense of humour
from?
I’ve always been able to see the funny side of things – it definitely
helps keep you sane. Sometimes it’s best not to point out the funny
side, like when you’re at funerals. As I mentioned, my lasting
memories of the Fire Service centre more on the fun, the never-ending
practical jokes and the incredible black humour. What joy it is to open
a tin of soup at a barn fire in the freezing early hours, only to find
someone has switched the labels with a tin of dogfood. The fire service
humour is relentless, it colours your outlook on life, and I think much
of it has rubbed off in my writing style.
You’ve obviously done a lot of research into the supernatural – are you
a skeptic or believer?
I’ve been interested in these things since my late teens, and yes, I’ve
done more research over the years than you can imagine. I’ve known
countless occultists, psychics, magicians, parapsychologists and
witches, including some that are quite famous, and only a very few
were convincing. I’ve even met someone who claimed to have
encountered a werewolf. Unfortunately, this is an area where money
can easily be made from the gullible, and the supernatural draws
charlatans, idiots and the deluded like moths to a (black) candle.
People really do want to believe, so fake psychics, healers and
wiccans don’t need to try too hard to get their cash, or to get them into
bed. When dealing with this world, you always need to exercise
caution, and before you accept what you’re hearing, or seeing, you
have to be sceptical and exhaust all the other possibilities (including
some fairly obvious ones) before you turn to paranormal
explanations.
After all that, I haven’t said whether I’m a sceptic or a believer, but I
see these two words as very black and white, so I’m going to sit on the
fence (around Borley Rectory) and say I’m neither.
Many thanks to Ian for this interview; for more on Ian Jarvis, visit his site;
