HIT THE ROAD

Yes, the Road Movie – the cinematic mirror to our unfulfilled dreams of freedom. On these roads, repressed suburban types make unlikely pairings with devil-may-care anti-heroes who live for the vicarious thrills of life on the blacktop, that shimmering halfway ribbon that is neither here nor ever entirely there... so buckle up, light one up (not forgetting to throw the lighter out of the window) flip your shades on with a nonchalant air and fire up the V-8... lets roll...

VANISHING POINT
Barry Newman is Kowalski – ex Police Vietnam vet. Delivering a 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Magnum to 'frisco, Kowalski bets he can make it by Saturday – and its Friday in Denver...
What ensues is a true classic – the increasingly wired Kowalski (with chemical help) is against the clock and the law, with a motley array of allies such as the blind dj Super Soul (Cleavon Little in an iconic role), a naked girl and her boyfriend, a biker called Angel. Without giving the ending away, this is a benchmark road movie – a real trip. Look out for Dean Jagger's hoary desert-dweller, also Charlotte Rampling as the Hitchhiker.

THE BLUES BROTHERS
Well, you knew it was coming – the Saturday Night Live pairing of Dan Aykroyd and the late John Belushi led, inevitably to the big screen with the 1980 film. Jake and Elwood Blues (Belushi is Jake) grew up in an orphanage which needs $5,000 tax money to remain open. Tasked by Sister Mary Stigmata (Kathleen Freeman) to raise the money, they set out to re-unite their old band – the Blues Brothers. Along the way, they are chased by nazis, a country and western band and Carrie Fisher – playing Jake's jilted love, who comes after the pair with an arsenal of military-style weaponry.

With the help of a dazzling array of blues musicians (Not to mention appearances by Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles) including the legendary Cab Calloway, the concert the brothers stage is a smash – leaving only a race to the Cook County assessor's office (Manned by one Steven Speilberg in a cameo) to seal the deal and save the day.
Well, if there's a more entertaining movie – I've yet to see it; pure class all the way.

MAD MAX aka THE ROAD WARRIOR
Mel Gibson is Max Rockatansky, a cop with the Main Force Patrol (MFP) in a future-Australia where society has broken down and only the extreme use of force by the remaining 'Bronze' (The nickname for the Police from their shields) keeps a lid on things – in the towns at any rate. A biker gang, led by the brutal-but-bright Toecutter (Hugh Keays-Byrne in a strong role) is spreading terror along the towns and outposts along the highway. After their friend, the Nightrider is killed in a chase involving the MFP, the gang wreaks bloody havoc. Max's colleague, bike cop Jim Goose (Steve Bisley) and Max's expectant wife is run down by the gang – and revenge comes in the form of a V-8 Interceptor – an instantly recognisable car (A Ford Falcon with a Concorde Body Kit and a prop 'blower' or Supercharger). In this matt black death machine, Max earns the nickname of the title – with some of the best stuntwork ever seen on the big screen.
Irritatingly, the film was released with an American overdub, but thankfully the original sound was restored – Mel Gibson's own voice proving a much better bet.

UP IN SMOKE
Comedy duo Cheech and Chong made their feature film debut with this old favourite in 1978. Tommy Chong is Anthony Stoner, who has to get a job or face Military School – Pedro De Pacas (Cheech Marin) picks Stoner up hitchiking, they smoke a joint and get busted. Luckily, the case falls apart when the Judge is found to have booze in his water and they head off to Pedro's cousin's place to score some grass. The place gets raided, cousin Strawberry (Tom Skerritt) is paranoid, convinced the cops are actually VietCong. Deported to Mexico, Stoner and De Pacas end up driving back to the States in a van made entirely of compressed Marijuana – pursued by Cop Stacey Keach (Irony!) and enter a Battle of the Bands...

Its all been copied, but this is a gem, an echo of the days when paranoia about drugs actually came from those smoking them – not the media/stuck-for-inspiration politicians.
Anybody got a roach?*

*Smoking is bad – drugs are bad. Especially ones the Governments don't tax.

SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT
I know – it's getting heavy, but who says Road movies have to be insightful journeys of the mind offering a metaphor-driven mirror to the psyche? (No, I'm not sure where that was going either) . Well, I like hokey – and no-one does schmaltz like Burt Reynolds. Bo Darville – nick-name the Bandit and friend Cledus (the Snowman) Snow (Jerry Reed – who sang the title song East Bound and Down) are hired by the Enus Brothers to haul a truckload of Coors beer from Texas to Georgia. If they can deliver in 28 hours, $80,000 awaits. Standing in their way is Sheriff Buford.T.Justice, none other than Jackie Gleason, with his idiot son Junior (Mike Henry in comedic support). In a Black Trans-Am Firebird, the Bandit runs 'interference', helping confuse and confound the law as trucker Snowman hauls the load in a big-rig.

Well – if you haven't seen this... where have you been?. Real-life love interest Sally Field played an unsurprisingly believable romantic role. The film was the brainchild of legendary stuntman/co-ordinator Hal Needham – about whom a whole blog could be written. His Directorial debut came despite initial studio misgivings when his friend Reynolds put his name to the project. See the film Hooper for another helping of both...

TWO LANE BLACKTOP
Monte Hellman's 1971 film stars James Taylor, Dennis Wilson (from the Beach Boys no less), Warren Oates and Laurie Bird.
Drifting from town to town in their 1955 Chevrolet, Taylor and Wilson take on all comers in street races. Driving along Route 66, they meet hitch-hiker Bird, before being challenged to a race to Washington DC by Oates, driving a 1970 Pontiac GTO.
It's a bit of a tough one to summarize, this – best to just watch the film unfold and, ultimately, burn itself out...
This, perhaps more than most of my other choices is a true Road movie – it's a cult classic to boot, so perhaps interpretation of it would be pretentious and gilding the lilly.

ELECTRA-GLIDE IN BLUE
Just to be different – here's one I haven't seen. Yes – new, on this blog only-the pre-reviewed movie!*. O.K., when researching the genre, I kept finding references to this film, so it seemed a shame to leave it out... (*I'm not being lazy, honestly – trust me, it's going to be the latest thing in audience-participation.)

PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES
By now, loyal Blogites should be painfully aware that anything gets into these posts if it tickles me – and anything involving the late John Candy gets me smiling like a Stepford Wife at the January Sales.
You've seen this one every Christmas/Bank Holiday (Trans-US-lation; Holidays and Thanksgiving) for decades now, so I'll leave this one as a given.

APOCALYPSE NOW
(Go with it) I know; what Road?, well, with a liberal amount of artistic licence, you could see this as a Road Movie – the river, the journey along it, going to darker and darker places both physically and spiritually, until there is nothing left, but the memory of a man and the burn-out sent to extinguish him...

(Francis Ford Coppola pic provided 'cos I think its cool...)

BEAR with me...

In the interests of your internet experie... o.k., it went bang - well, more urrrrr-put-put-prrrrr, but then!; nothing....



Yep, computer died - after years of the functionality and ease of use of; A-a packet of cornflakes and B-A telephone keypad with Armenian lettering the whole thing expired in a cloud of disappointingly absent smoke....
So, here without more delay than the usual when trying to decipher a new language, here's the blog in... (drum-roll) (no, louder).... UBUNTU!...


Yes, all the same ramblings, but now in a format that nurtures geeks everywhere and features such fun as CLIs and Guis, but none of the, erm, STIs that are so familiar to anyone anywhere who has had the 'Gates-Effect' symptoms (Being a Brit, were'nt Trojans hardy warriors supposed to protect innocent folks from nasty things???). Anyway, hopefully you've not realised there are better things to be doing - but stay tuned, there's more to come - just a few graphics programs to learn, some family stuff we can't mention for marital/mind-yer-own reasons and its all systems $%£"^... Sorry to everyone/anyone/the cat if the delay has caused Boredom/Angst/Error404... ;-)

What jumps, crashes, falls and burns and makes James Bond look good?...

...Stunt Performers, naturally. 
James Bond Stuntman injured in lake crash... Headlines like this were flashed around the World by the media, a reminder that even experienced Stunt performers are'nt immune from accident; many have been injured over the years since movies were first invented - and deaths are not unheard of. In the early days, stuntmen such as the legendary Yakima Canutt and Carey Loftin fell from horses and crashed cars with few examples to follow and less safety equipment. Loftin used to recount how, when crashing cars, his sole protection came from a folded coat he wedged in the steering wheel. 

Thankfully, these days stunts take place under careful supervision from experienced Stunt Co-Ordinators, with highly trained performers in protective gear with safeguards such as vehicle rollcages and safety harnesses. With the advent of green screen technology, even actors can be seen hanging from helicopters or falling from buildings - scenes that, until recently, required extensive use of stunt doubles. Sadly, some have questioned the need to have stunt performers at all; why hire an expensive stunt team when CGI and green screen can produce the same results?. Why?, well, I for one much prefer films where I know the stunts are 'genuine', 'for real'... o.k., CGI etc can add to the drama and scope of a film, in proportion, but who wants a puppet show when real actors are available?.

In short, if you see a stuntman/woman risking their neck in a spectacular crash, it adds to the tension and credibility of the plot, even if you know it wasn't Arnie or Sly, but a double involved. Here's a look at just a few of the many stunts and stuntmen (I was too lazy to research female stunt-performers. Sorry.) who make 007 much more than just a civil servant with a gun and a flash motor...

Above: The famous gunbarrel sequence from Dr.No. The world's first view of the movie 007, but 'Bond' was actually Bob Simmons, the legendary stuntman who worked on nearly every Bond until his death in 1988. The bottom photo shows Simmons in drag as Colonel Boitier, being strangled in a vicious hand to hand fight with Connery in Thunderball.

A View to a Kill - Roger Moore atop the Golden Gate bridge?. In reality, the star was on a mock-up at Pinewood. The late Irish Stuntman Martin Grace provided the thrills as he grappled with Zorin's double - on the dizzyingly high real bridge.

Martin Grace started his career as the Milk Tray man, a Bond-esque character featuring in television adverts. (Top-Right) Grace testing a stunt for the film Escape to Athena. High falls were a favourite of this veteran performer. The bottom two shots show Grace posing with the wetbike and mock-up chopper from The Spy who Loved Me and with Roger Moore, for whom Grace doubled. During the filming of Octopussy, Grace suffered a shattered pelvis in a sickening accident; hanging on to the side of a train, the stuntman was carried past the area he had safety checked. Hitting a concrete pillar, Grace's pelvis was shattered, incredibly, however, he hung on, avoiding further injuries. Tragically, he died after a fall from a bicycle, aged 67.

Vic Armstrong. This legendary stuntman turned co-ordinator has worked on Bond films ever since his work on You Only Live Twice. Married to fellow performer Wendy Leech, Armstrong's amazing list of credits include Superman and Superman II, but he is perhaps most famous for his work on the Indiana Jones films. As the middle photograph shows, he is a natural double for Harrison Ford, legend having it that even Steven Spielberg mistook him for the star on set. (Note the dedication from Ford!) 

Want the inside tip on the movie business, as told by someone with a unique access to the secrets of the trade?. Look no further than Vic Armstrong's book - sadly, I can't afford a copy (I'm unemployed - times are tough and all that), but the reviews on the Internet are unanimously thumbs-up. (All the Vic Armstrong images are copyright - go to www.vicarmstrong.com - loads of unique photos and content)

Sometimes, as on the left in Live and Let Die, stars such as Moore perform some of the action themselves. Usually, however, the actors portraying 007 leave it to the professionals, as seen on the right, in Moonraker.

The Spy who Loved Me. Pursued by Caroline Munro in the helicopter, (How lucky can a secret agent get?) Bond jumps his Lotus Esprit off of a jetty. Just as things seem to be going soggy, he flicks a switch and, voila! - the car becomes a mini-submarine...
Sorry to shatter any illusions, but the sub was actually a mock-up, fitted with electrically powered propellers and crewed by divers. The hydroplanes, meant to add authenticity and aid in maneuverability, actually hindered the stunt team, as the sloping front end of the 'Esprit' drove the craft downwards.  

Above: Filming in such diverse locations as Gibraltar and Japan, Bond stunt Co-Ordinators must be able to plan ahead as well as improvise - extreme weather, narrow roads on mountain-sides and frozen lakes all provide challenges to safe execution of stunts.

For the film Tomorrow Never Dies, the much-loved Desmond Lewellyn, in his role of Q, issues Brosnan's Bond with a BMW 720 series. As you would expect, Q has fitted the car with a range of 'optional extras', including toughened glass, rockets and a nifty remote control device allowing 007 to send the car hurtling around from a safe distance. To make the gag believable, the crew fitted the car with - see bottom image - a hidden screen and controls. Concealed from view, the stunt performer was able to make it seem as if the wildly careering car was actually operated by Bond's handset.

Casino Royale - Daniel Craig's famous crane jump was recently voted top Bond stunt (I still consider the Goldeneye dam jump and the Man with the Golden Gun corkscrew jump to be the best). The image on the right shows clearly the use of stunt doubles, although much of the action was performed by Craig. Stealing the show, however, was Sébastien Foucan, the Parkour specialist, who, as bomb-maker Mollaka nearly evades Bond with a staggering display of agility, using surfaces and structures in unique ways to propel himself like a human rubber ball. Written descriptions cannot do his art justice; I suggest watching Casino Royale - as if you needed an excuse.

Quantum of Solace - Audiences Worldwide thrilled at the action as 007 hurled himself across the rooftops of Siena. Daniel Craig performed many of the film's stunts himself - the use of wires and concealed harnesses was essential if he was to be allowed to do so. Wired or not, the heights involved called for a large reserve of courage. In British parlance, Craig certainly has 'bottle'... 

Technology in action; on the left, a heart-stopping moment from Quantum. On the right, the reality; a Vertical Wind Tunnel (VWT) is used to simulate  free-fall, with green-screen techniques used later to add the background elements. (These shots are the copyright of fx.guide.com / Kevin Tod Haug and the lovely people at the Sony Corporation)

The hard way; bona-fide stunt performers add the sense of danger to the opening chase in Quantum of Solace. As mentioned earlier, one of the stuntmen ended up performing one 'gag' more than planned... the wreckage is seen here being winched back to dry land. As they say, 'Don't try this at home'...

"Ejector Seat?, you're joking..."

...The immortal line uttered by Connery as Bond in the famous scenefrom Goldfinger. Almost every film in the series features some automotive mayhem -long before Daniel Craig's stuntmen were wrecking DBS's in Italy, Bob Simmons et al were doing the business in some of the most desirable cars of theday - but, it's not all four wheels in the world of 007... heres a few personal favourites amongst all those Bond vehicles.

 
ACROSTAR MINI-JET - OCTOPUSSY


Remember this baby? - in the '83 smash, 007 makes his escape with this nifty jet, concealed in a horse-box complete with fake horse tail - Roger Moore's "Fill her up, please" at a remote garage being an especially memorable line...

FORD MUSTANG MACH-1 - DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

"Lean over!" - Connery's barked order to Tiffany Case (Jill St.John) as the Mustang enters a narrow alley - only to get through it on two wheels. This precarious stunt famously went awry, with cars rolling and an unexpected headache for the continuity department, with the car entering the alley balanced on first one, then (miraculously) the other set of wheels...

LOTUS ESPRIT S1 - THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

Placed in a prominent spot by the entrance to Pinewood studios (an inspired move by Lotus Cars), the Esprit S1 was - if the stories are true - spotted by Cubby Broccoli himself and chosen as the ideal car for 007 in his most audacious gamble yet - the film that was to be the biggest, best Bond yet...

The scene where Bond drives the car off a jetty into the sea, only for it to convert into a mini-sub is simply unforgettable.

CV23 Glastron/Carlson hardtop - Moonraker

Glastron continued their long association with 007 - check out the boat chase in Live & Let Die for the best example - with this futuristic craft. On a mission to the South American jungle, Roger Moore as Bond is tracking down Drax's secret shuttle launch site - when Jaws and co. arrive and try to spoil the show. Escaping by a hang-glider concealed in the roof of the boat, Bond escapes the waterfall that claims the bad-guys - but Jaws proves, as ever, to be indestructible.

BMW Z3 - Goldeneye

This, plus the later use of a 750iL, an R1200 motorcycle and a bifurbicated Z8 established Pierce Brosnan as the BMW Bond. Not exactly over-featured, but a tidy little sports car, if a tad underpowered (A claim also levelled at the S1 Esprit, perhaps hence the latter's reincarnation as a Turbo model).

TOYOTA GT-2000 CONVERTIBLE - YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

Legend has it that Sean Connery was too tall for the GT-2000 - available only as a hard-top coupe, hence the film-makers asking Toyota to cut the roof off of the two cars used in the film. Whatever the truth, YOLT remains one of the few movies where Bond doesn't drive himself - the burning rubber provided by Aki, (in reality a non-driver) his Japanese contact.

ASTON-MARTIN DB5 - GOLDFINGER (PLUS THUNDERBALL, TOMORROW NEVER DIES, CASINO ROYALE - AND THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH)

Scenes featuring the DB5 being driven to MI6 HQ in Scotland were cut from the final film, so the car's actual appearance in TWINE is limited to one brief shot - but it has to be the car's debut in the iconic Goldfinger that fans will remember. Who can forget the ejector seat sequence, or Bond using the smoke and bullet screens against Goldfinger's henchmen?. The tracking device installed by 'Q' enables Bond to take a leisurely approach to the pursuit of his enemy - the only drawback seems to have been Connery's complaint that the pedals were too close together for his feet. Two cars were used in the film, one for the fast driving scenes and the other for the gadget shots. The latter famously broke all records at auction, despite being effectively a reconstruction, having had its gadgetry stripped by Aston-Martin some years previously - only to be re-fitted to its former glory after the mistake was realised...

ASTON-MARTIN V8 VANTAGE VOLANTE - THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS

Originally seen as a convertible, later converted to a hardtop - "Winterized" in 'Q's words - this car was full of tricks - a fighter-style Head-Up Display. rockets and outrigger skis being just a few. Along with the Esprits, this is one of my all-time favourite cars.

Incidentally, I met the then Moneypenny, Caroline Bliss in Brighton when she made an appearance with the Volante - I even got to help roll the shiny show wheels over to the car (Yes, they even changed them, the fitted wheels being a tad dull). (O.K. not the greatest claim to 007-fame, but, hey I've been to Ian Fleming's house in Kent, plus his golf club so boo-sux!)

LITTLE NELLIE - YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

RAF Wing Commander Ken Wallis is the genius behind this remarkable machine. An autogyro, 'Little Nellie' is featured in the film - with added weaponry provided by the special effects team - as a handy reconnaissance platform, issued to Bond in kit form by the ever-pressed 'Q'.

One I did earlier...

Revealed: 007's Christmas Polaroids...(the clean ones)

Yes, it really is time for 'serious' blog-stuff, but while we are still finishing off the gammon sandwiches and sifting through piles of hazelnuts and almonds in the fruitless hope of finding the very last brazil (is there a family somewhere with a bowlful of brazils wanting to swap?), there's just time for this gin-inspired offering... James Bond's Xmas snaps...

Happy New Year!